The Sometimes Useful Useless Stuff We Know

A couple weeks ago a coworker of mine started to recite Dr. Seuss’s The Pale Green Pants to wrangle and quiet a group of unruly 4, 5, and 6 year olds. She told it all from memory and the kids were quite entranced and some of my other coworkers were in awe. But I knew. My first question when she finished was “Was that your son’s favorite?” She laughed and said “yeah”. The coworkers in awe don’t have children so they don’t know all the useless things that fill your brain as a parent. Useless unless of course you have to wrangle a bunch of unruly children, which fortunately worked like a charm.

Today I was reading to a little guy and though the book was missing a page, it didn’t phase me, I know it word for word and probably always will.

This book is the best! I make sure every little one I get gifts for has a copy of this book! Not only do I know it, but both my kids do by heart. It was the first thing Little Moo recited, before any nursery song even.

These are a few of the other random books that will always rattle around my brain.

 

 

 

How about you? Are there any books that you could recite from memory while half asleep rocking a two year old?

The Vows I Forgot?

 

There have been some late night as it gets closer to Christmas because…well I procrastinate, but mostly because a lot of the things I need to do either need to be done with no children awake or (like most things) it is just plain easier without the kids bugging me. Last night as we were getting to bed Zippercow was grumbling about how late it was. The conversation goes a little like this:

Me: “You know dear, you can go to bed even if I’m not ready to.”

Zippercow: “No I can’t.”

Me: “Yes you can, you just go to bed.”

Zippercow: “Nope, same bedtime. It says right in our marriage vows, in sickness and health we go to bed at the same time.”

Thanks dear, I clearly forgot that vow??? Reason #2,136 why I love my husband, he can’t go to sleep without me. Not a bad place to be.

Anyone else have a shared bedtime?

Size Matters

Sometimes it’s hard to write about the big things, the serious things. We’ve had a great year, our little family, but we’ve had some big things happen too. I’ve had a bit of a writers block because I haven’t known how to tackle some of it, but I’ve decided I don’t have to cover everything in our blog as it happens. Much like with my crafting I have to do it when creativity strikes and not feel guilt about doing  things out of order or even post about the little things when there are much bigger things going on. You know, telling the perfectionist in me to shut up.

I think that most people would be entertained to be in on conversations that Zippercow and I have. One conversation  we’ve had many times is how things taste better when they aren’t their original size. For instance Saltine Minis.

These are delicious and perfect for pregnant ladies and children. The aren’t as crumbly as their giant predecessors which is a plus for messy children, but also if you are preggers you won’t have a snow storm of saltine crumbs down your front after staving off morning sickness in your car. Best. Thing. Ever.

 

Mmm… Mini Nilla Wafers. Nough said.

But this is the most recent Mini we’ve come across that sparked the latest reprise of our conversation about yummy things that aren’t their original size.

What the what?!?! Triscuit Minis?! We had to try them! Much as we suspected they were delicious…because they are smaller.

It isn’t just when things are smaller that they are better. Sometimes When they are bigger they are better. Like these

They are bigger than their original size so they are better. It’s a fact.

We have a whole list of things that are better than their originals that we of course discuss anytime we come across new things to add to the list. See? Don’t you just wish you were here to discuss the important things with the Hubs and I?

How about you, what are your favorite that are not their original size?

Fall Fun…

Do you ever do something with your kids because it is a family tradition or it seems like you should be doing it? Some activity that should create warm fuzzy family moments, but somehow they fall a little short? That’s how I feel about carving pumpkins. It always seems like a fun fall fun activity but I’m usually wrong, and then the next Halloween comes around and I forget (until I’m halfway through) that I wasn’t going to do that again.

Sure, carving pumpkins can be fun…for about five minutes while the kids are interested, but the other 9o minutes are brutal. There is the repeated yelling at the children to “stop grabbing at the knife blade”or  “please don’t fling the pumpkin guts off your hand”and two minutes later  “no I can’t find your favorite toy or turn on a movie, I’m up to my elbow in pumpkin guts!” then there is the standing over multiple pumpkins scraping them out and carving them. Oh and don’t forget the forty five minutes spent standing over the sink going through pumpkin mush to find pumpkin seeds.

Sure I don’t have to do that part, but something good has to come from all the work and mess right?

It is just SO much work.

For…

Oh right…the kids. They are cute. And I love them. Ugh…guess who will be carving pumpkins again next year!

Forgetting Foam

While dealing with the various medical issues that have plagued Zippercow in the last month one of his complaints was that he wasn’t sleeping well on our terrible mattress. This of course was not news to me because I was not sleeping well either.  Our mattress is terrible despite it being less than three years old.

So me, being the great wife I delusionally think I am, made it my mission to find a mattress pad to bring my poor husband just a bit of comfort*. My evening of searching led me to target where I purchased the Cool Comfort Memory Foam Mattress Topper. Here is the description of the product:

Sleep like you've never slept before on a luxurious memory foam mattress topper by Target Home. Thick mattress pad will fit nicely on top of a queen-sized mattress. Made from synthetic polyurethane foam that's also hypoallergenic. Temperature-sensitive memory foam is designed to adapt to the pressure of your body, making you feel like you're sleeping on a cloud.

Sounds great right? Who wouldn’t want to sleep on a cloud? 

I’m undecided.

My biggest issue with memory foam is how it holds in the heat making me super hot when trying to sleep, but the name of the product assures me that it is cool comfort so I should be set. Oh, and the smell of the foam. But luckily this product is scented like green tea to cover the smell of new memory foam. I actually like the scent and am sad that the smell is dissipating . I also think they rely on the scent to make you think it is cooler, trying to trick your brain into thinking it is cooler. Tricky, tricky.

As for sleeping on a cloud, I’m not so sure.  Sure it is blissful the second you lay down, but here’s the thing, when you add a memory foam topper to an already crappy mattress you are still in the same ridiculous back breaking divot, just two inches higher. Once it “memorizes” you it is no longer comfortable. But if you get up long enough for the mattress to “forget” you and lay back down, there is a brief moment of comfort. So just do that over and over through out the night and you are golden.

That’s conducive to a good night’s sleep right?

*Sadly the same night I brought this home Zippercow’s back pain was so bad he couldn’t lay or sit down. He has yet to make it more than a couple hours in bed since we got this. Poor Zippercow, just can’t catch a break.

I Perspire to Inspire (Kind Of)

 

I’ve been putting this post off for awhile. There are a couple reasons. One being that each time I think about writing it I think to myself “I’ll do it after I shed a few more pounds. The number will sound more impressive”. Zippercow’s  70+ lbs. sounds far more exciting than my 50+lb. lost so I keep putting it off. Second, I want to be inspirational. I want to set a good example.

I’m not really sure I’m there yet.

Today I went to Fred Meyer just to get a gallon of milk and discovered something so much more amazing. Clearance! I thought I would just look and see what I could find in my size. But what size am I now?  I knew last time I bought something I was a 14 so I grabbed one of those and I grabbed a 12 just out of curiosity. I made Zippercow do this the other day, made him try on a medium (MEDIUM peeps!) and what do you know, it fit! I thought I might just be that lucky. And it turns out I was!  I was able to get them on and zip them up and they didn’t look half bad. Sure it may have just been that pair of jeans, but I am still over the moon excited.

I shared my excitement on Facebook (it was a nice change from all my complaining I’m sure) and was asked if I was blogging about my success. The answer is no. Mostly because people keep asking “what’s your secret?” Here’s the secret…

I don’t have one.

When I tell them, “I count calories and exercise” I immediately see their faces fall and the light leave their eyes. That’s not exciting.  Not vegan. Not gluten free. I haven’t cut out sugar, hell I still have diet soda. Strangely it seems people want to hear that I’ve been starving myself or that I am only eating kale and grapefruit for weeks. Nope. Then I feel even worse because these discussions inevitably  take place at some function or BBQ where I’ve decided to splurge and eat a bunch of chips or cake (or both) Sure they may not know it is my “cheat day” or that I have already burned 600 calories at my morning workout or plan to later that day. Or that I stayed on point ALL week just so I could splurge on said occasion. So telling them I count calories while I stuff my face doesn’t really connect for them.  Recently at a work meeting I didn’t finish my cake and my boss asked “So do you always leave a bite on your plate?”thinking that could be part of my secret. But no. My response was “Uh…no. I just didn’t like the filling.”

There really is no secret, it is exactly as doctors have been telling us for years. Eat healthy and exercise. But that’s where I fail a little too. I do stay within my calorie limit of 1500 calories (give or take depending on exercise) but I don’t always get in all my fruits and vegetables. Sometimes my calories are on things I probably definitely should not be eating. This is where I feel I lack the ability to be inspirational for others. I hardly feel I can write a blog post “I Eat Cookies and Loose And So Can You!” because even I know that I should be better at getting the things in that I need to be healthy.

I suppose I can tell you some of what I do and you can take it as inspirational or the ramblings of some woman you kind of know.

^{It’s  crazy but I don’t see that much difference in these pictures. I know I’m smaller, but I actually feel smaller than the picture gives me credit for. I think. I suppose my after picture probably shouldn’t be in a dress that is too big for me, but it was worth a shot. There will be plenty of other milestone opportunities I’m sure! Note to self,  you can not see a smaller butt and skinnier thighs in a dress that is too big!}

My Tips

Grace: If anything, this is the one tip I would give everyone. Be kind to yourself!You have a long life to live, you don’t have to lose all your weight in one week!  We went on vacation recently and I “found” a few pounds that I then had to shed. I anticipated this. I suppose I could have decided to stay on point for vacation, but where is the fun in that? I truly feel that since I have found what works that I just reapply the formula anytime I have an off week. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. Diet implies that it will end, which usually means you will go back to your old habits therefore gaining back your weight. If you give in and have one cookie (or five!) just know that somewhere in the week you will need to make up for it with extra exercise if you want to see results on the scale. Don’t say “screw it” and just stop. Keep going!

Be Realistic: The first few weeks of trying to lose weight can be super exciting or depressing. My first few weeks I didn’t lose anything which was REALLY discouraging. During this time try using a tape measure instead, you’ll be amazed that you may still be getting smaller but not budging on the scale. I just kept going!  I knew I was doing the right thing, then all of a sudden I was losing 4-5 pounds a week! That was short lived and since then I’ve only lost 0.5-2lbs a week. This is what is recommended, no more! In the beginning if you have a lot to lose it might be in higher numbers, but the closer you are to your goal, the smaller your calorie deficit is, which means smaller losses each week.  And don’t think you are doing something wrong if you lost 3.5lbs one week but only 0.5lbs (or none, this has happened a couple times) the following week. Congratulate yourself on not gaining, you still averaged 2lbs a week over the 2 week period. That’s good! I’ve lost a little over 50lbs. in an eight month period. That is an average of less than 2lbs a week. It may seem like a long time looking forward, but now it doesn’t seem all that long.

Journal: You can do this privately or online where you can have support, but it makes all the difference. This is something I actually learned when pregnant and I had gestational diabetes. Actually seeing what you are eating really helps to pinpoint your problem areas and make adjustments. I strongly suggest this.

Cheat Day or Meal: Once a week I allow myself a “cheat” day/meal. Usually it is Friday (my weigh in day) so that I have a whole week to make up for it if necessary, but if I have a party or other social event (where there is guaranteed to be a delicious food trap) on some other day during the weekend I try to make that my “cheat” day. But to be even more honest sometimes the cheat day turns into a weekend. Oops. I  just make up for it the following week. I don’t starve myself, just keep my calories closer to 1500, even if I exercise. This (cheat weekend)  does result in lower loss for the week, but I’ve come to terms with that. As long as I’m still losing or at worse, not gaining I’m still on track.

Don’t Deny Yourself: This may sound counterintuitive because of course I have to say no to myself all the time, but when you have the serious “I can’t live without it” craving, indulge! No matter what Bob and Jillian tell you watermelon flavored gum is no replacement for chocolate. That’s just stupid. Sure maybe you should delay to see if the craving passes, but if it doesn’t,  have the brownie, hit the gym and move on with your life. Remember how in school we learned about "sometimes” foods? Yeah, sometimes not never foods, so it is okay to have them sometimes. Don’t feel guilty! Sometimes you can even work it into your day and still comfortably hit a reasonable calorie deficit so don’t be so hard on yourself.

Resist Temptation: This has been trickier for me, but basically we don’t keep bags/boxes of chips, cookies or candy in the house. If we do I will eat them and so will Zippercow. We do have them sometimes, but I do not buy them unless we have a specific need for them which means I can’t stockpile like my other groceries, but I find that it actually saves us money and calories because we aren’t eating as much of it as we were before. Also work places frequently have stashes of candy about or work parties with cake or cookies. Unless it happens to be your FAVORITE something just say no. I can’t tell you how many times I had a piece of cake or cupcake and ate it all because I felt I had to. You know you’ve done it too, grabbed a doughnut only to take a bite and realize it is dry and gross but finish it anyway. You don’t have to. If it isn’t worth the calories simply don’t eat it. Over time this has become easier than I ever thought it could.

Exercise, exercise, exercise: I am definitely a creature of habit so it had to be habit before it felt like the norm. Find time to do something, anything! If I can’t go to the gym I have a step box at home that I do 30 minutes on after the kids go to bed or during nap. Find something that works for you that you can fall back on but don’t be afraid to mix it up (says the woman who is still too chicken to go to Zumba by herself). Also don’t be afraid to lift weights!

Drink Water! 

Stop Competing: People are built different. We know this, so why do we put pressure on ourselves to be a certain size? We shouldn’t. Find a place where you are healthy and happy and stick to that. Also, I struggle with the numbers. The amount of weight Zippercow has lost seems so much more impressive than what I’ve lost when you look at the numbers, but don’t do that! It is something I have to tell myself all the time. We aren’t competing, we are being healthier. On the competing theme, you can’t match your spouse’s eating, nor should you. Before I was guilty of putting the same amount of food on my plate as I did on his. Or I would have a snack if he was snacking. The sad fact is that men need more calories than women do which means they get to eat more. *Sad face*. Don’t match him bite for bite, because it will bite you in the ass. Or more likely add to your ass.

Measure your food: More specifically know what you are putting in your mouth. I use measuring cups for food portioning. I frequently will use a smaller plate to make it look like I have more food on my plate. And for snacks I will measure it out and put it in the kids’ bowls so it looks like more.  It is amazing how well that works. If you look at a half full plate you feel deprived but put that same food on a smaller plate and you feel like you are getting a meal.

Wow, I had more tips than I thought I would. Seems like enough for now, but I will always answer any questions to the best of my ability. I suppose the best inspiration I can offer is that I’m not perfect and the process doesn’t have to be perfect to still see results. I haven’t figured it all out, but I have time and so do you!

I’m so happy to have such a wonderful support system! I love you all and wish you the best of luck in your own journey!

First Grade All the Way!

Can you believe it?! Little Moo is in first grade! Today was his first day. This is big kid territory here. School all day and you get to bring your lunch!  Just look how cool he thinks he is.

I didn’t even tell him to pose. He just did that.

It would be funny to say he’s embarrassed, but actually he claimed it was too bright out. Oh man, he’s quite the character!

I know I’m a smart-ass a lot (okay, most of the time) and I have had my share of facebook posts about the crazy things my 6 year old does that result in me wanting to run screaming from the house whilst simultaneously tearing out my hair but I sure love him.. A lot. Here are just some of the reasons I love him so.

1. He’s funny. Aside from the obvious poop, fart and burp humor that boys like so much he has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh. I think he will take to sarcasm quite nicely.

2. He’s kind. He enjoys being a helper to everyone in the family. He takes pride it in.

3. He gives compliments. He will often tell someone “you look nice” or “I like your dress/shirt/hair”

4. He loves to read. I hope he always does

5. He likes to build Legos. I especially enjoy that he comes up with his own creations.

6. He’s sensitive. He is affected by the emotions others have. He feels. I know that isn’t always what manly men qualify a desirable trait but I know this will make him a great human being.

7. He’s smart. Oh so smart. Too smart for his own good, but it makes for interesting conversations for sure!

8. He sleeps in funny places. Example A:

Top bunk, in a box. That’s how he rolls. Never mind that we spent a great deal of money on a bunk bed for him, he sleeps in a box or on his “third bunk” (a blanket on the floor under the bed). My strange, loveable boy!

9. He has a fantastic fashion sense, as I’ve previously documented on this blog. I mean Santa socks with sandals, shorts, and a jacket?  He’s going places with clothes like that!

10. He embodies some of the best (and a few of the not so so great) qualities of both Zippercow and I and that makes him uniquely him! Love you Little Moo!