Being Mom

My plan was to sit down to write an eloquent post about being a Mom, the struggles, heartaches and most importantly the rewards. Who knows, maybe my discombobulated thoughts will spiral into that. Doubtful, but let’s go for the ride and see! As I was saying, I was just sitting down to start this post, all the kids down for nap/quiet time, the pb & j scrubbed off the tables, ankle deep toys put away and I had even thrown some laundry in the washer when I started to hear Littlest Moo giggling in his crib. Now as I’ve mentioned in posts before he is a pretty happy little fella so him giggling is not what caught my attention, but that Niecey-poo was also talking which usually means that she has chucked the paci out of her playpen and she won’t lay down to sleep without it. Upon inspection this is what I found

 

Not just the paci was out of the playpen, but a whole Niecey-poo. Not only had she climbed of of the playpen she sleeps in but she had climbed into the crib!  Of course Littlest Moo thought it was funny, no one other than the cat has ever been in there with him, great fun!

Niecey-poo, what do you think you are doing?

Of course her response was something garbled behind the paci but judging from her gestures it goes something like this “Auntie, I don’t know how I got here, is this not where I belong?”

Being Mom. This moment sums it up quite beautifully. Sure I put the kids to nap so all should be sleeping peacefully, but they aren’t. With kids nothing is ever as straightforward as it should be.  And as I’m cursing in my head that I just wish I could have a few minutes of peace I walk in on little giggles of delight and Niecey-poo quite delighted with herself and her accomplishment.

Sure I could say that all the giggles and kisses make up for it and in the end it is true, I love my boys and niece in more than any words can express, but I struggle daily to be the Mom I want my kids to have. I fall short on most days but I pick myself up (or drag myself out of bed) the next day and try again, hoping this will be the day I get some sort of Mom epiphany and it will no longer be so much work or at the very least not seem so hard. Oh Mom epiphany where are you!?!?! But anyone who has ever cared for children knows just when you think you have it figured out, those kids will remind you that you don’t.

And they would be correct.

There is no way to know everything or do everything it just isn’t possible. So everyday I just do the best I can and remind myself that this is what I’ve wanted to do my whole life, be a Mom. Just like any other person with a career I have to make a conscious effort to better myself and to continue to learn with all the energy I can summon.