One for the Books

I waited a couple days to write this post. You know, so that I can look back and laugh. It took a couple days.

This post is about Mothers Day.

Since I always have to work on Sunday we celebrate Mothers and Fathers Day on the Saturday before.

I can go into the gory details. But I’ll give you an overview.  Mine started with Little Moo waking me sometime before 7am. Way before. He shoved a handmade gift in my face and said “Happy Mothers Day!” then asked to watch TV. Sadly we had been having a week long room cleaning standoff and he wasn’t allowed television until his room was cleaned. Any guesses on what this will mean for the day? Here’s a hint, he wasn’t happy about this consequence. And he let me know. All. Day. I was lucky enough to drop him and Littlest Moo off with Grammy for a few hours only to drag a zombie Zippercow around to local nurseries. Then have the kids shout at me some more, fight, not listen. Little Moo shouted at one point “Mothers Day is when moms are supposed to be nice to their kids!” At one point he threw a tantrum and slammed our slider door and managed to shatter the glass. Then yelled at me some more about his consequences. I cried (a couple times) that day. Sunday after work wasn’t much better. I can safely say the most pleasant time of the weekend was being at work.

It’s my own fault really. I thought that since things have been rough and I’ve had a lot  to deal with since Zippercow has been not well that maybe it might just be a little more special. But duh, he’s still not well so he didn’t really have the energy to pull off his usual magic (he’s usually really good at this sort of thing) let alone add that little something extra. I tried not to get my hopes up, but let’s be honest, I did.

Fortunately for my husband and boys, I know they love me. I know they appreciate me. And we can laugh about it now, the terrible mothers day. The post is not meant to make my husband or boys feel bad. The idea was to share that no matter what, I still love them. Even on the bad days.

Always.

Oh and next year, feel free to make it extra special!

Stuck.

My weight loss journey is…stuck. In the mud. Like, a lot of it. It is frustrating me to no end. I am not really sure how to get my motivation back. I was doing so well, then the holidays came and I just enjoyed myself and now I can’t seem to get back on track. I gained a few pounds back and despite my work I can’t seem to get any traction. I loose a few, then gain them back and am staying pretty static.

With Zippercow being sick for the better half of a year (just one issue compounded on another and another) the stress is definitely taking its toll on me. I shouldn’t let it but measuring food, planning meals and journaling what I eat seems so easy to let go of with all the stress. I haven’t gone crazy with my eating but clearly my choices haven’t been great. I’ve been motivated enough to keep up at the gym and am back to doing weights regularly, but it still isn’t enough. Some days I’m proud that despite the stress I haven’t gone all the way back, that I’ve kept some habits and still have enough sense not to let bags of cookies, chips and candy into my home, But then I get into a social situation and can’t hold back. In the past I would have just let it all go, that’s how I got so heavy in the first place. So, I am proud, proud that even in stressful times I can keep some of my shit  together. Then other days I’m pissed at my weak will. Why didn’t I say no to those cookies on the counter at work (but damn, my coworker makes kickass cookies!)?   And why does a free day or treat turn into a whole weekend of it? I had plans to be at my goal weight by my brother’s wedding (the end of summer) and that goal keeps slipping further and further away.

I’ve also got the added complication of Zippercow’s diet. His diet is SO limited that it requires us to get him certain foods even if they aren’t on sale, which is a stretch on our food budget, but the guy has to eat!  So I frequently skip getting some of the foods that help me to eat healthy.

So…any ideas? I know what I NEED to do but can’t seem to find the motivation. What do you do when you need a burst of motivation? Is it this difficult for everyone? Have you ever stalled for a bit and gotten back on track? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Budding Engineer

Our Littlest Moo has taken to trains lately and loves building his Duplo tracks. But it is not just enough to put the tracks together, he has to make them better!

 

Who doesn’t want tracks that rise and fall!? Sadly, these are not designed for such ingenuity.

I think I can, I think I can, and then I can’t.

Being a toddler is hard.

Crafty, Crafty: Dyed Onesies

So my bestest friend is preggers and is absolutely crazy and insists on not knowing the gender of her baby. Okay, she’s not really crazy, I think it sweet that she waits to see what nature’s miracle will be BUT it does make it ultra tricky for her friend (who wishes to live vicariously through her pregger friend) to spoil her rotten with tons of baby stuff. I’m doing the best I can, but don’t worry I will make up for it once I know the gender, and I don’t think my friend will mind one bit. In an effort to give her something other than white onesies I decided to craft it up a notch.

Enter, dyed onesies!

I got the idea from Make It Cozee

I started with some white onesies I found for a spectacular deal

Then dyed with some Sunshine Orange Rit Dye, following the instructions in the above link.

And ended up with what I think is a beautiful orange color. It is splotchy on some of them, but I think it gives it a little charm and will look great on what will undoubtedly be an ADORABLE baby.

LOVE! I will definitely be doing this again, hopefully she loves them too!

Oh Yeah, This Is Happening!

Oh Pinterest. How I love thee. You are a terrible time suck that I can’t ever stop referring to, as if you were my best friend. It is sad really, but then…I stumble across something that can truly change our family’s dynamic. And I’m going to do it. I’m going to take The Orange Rhino Challenge

I hate that I yell. It is one of the things I feel the worst about as a parent. Sure there are a lot of things I don’t do right, but yelling is the one thing I feel the worst about, and I see my boys modeling my behavior and it hurts my heart. I don’t want to be remembered as the mom who yelled all the time. I want my boys to know they too can be heard without yelling or being angry.

So…

365 is a little to large a goal for me, for now. Much like I can’t say I will lose 50lbs, I can’t say I’ll go a whole year without yelling. Start small. So I will be starting with one week. Spring break.

Hold me. This. Will. Be. Hard.

I told Little Moo about a no yelling week and he seemed happy about it and laughed when I told him he could say “Orange Rhinoceros”  when I seemed like I might yell, but that I could also say the same thing to him. He laughed and said “and then we’ll both stop!”.

I will need your support oh wonderful readers because this may is going to be a challenge for sure. It may result in a few facebook posts in all caps or even the occasional text or two. You too can say “Orange Rhino” and remind me I’m doing this for my kids, and me too. Or just let me vent. And if you’d like to join me in The Orange Rhino Challenge I will do the same for you.

Wish me luck!

Mommy Shame

There are so many things that bring great joy to us as mothers but with that comes guilt too. That we aren’t enough. Are they watching  too much tv? Are they eating well enough? Do I have them in enough activities? Are they spoiled? Literally the list can go on and on. I have been struggling with my own shame of failing my son. I was so frustrated by his outbursts and behavior that I started to push him away because of my own frustrations of failing to figure him out. Not abuse or even neglect, just distance.

Add that to my list of guilt.

Guilt, there is plenty to go around. However I am going to take credit. I am going to take credit for the fact that while it may have taken me longer than he deserved to see the light I have figured it out and I am taking steps to help. It took one scan of an article for the light bulb to blink on.

Duh, it takes one to know one!

So how does and anxious person parent the anxious. Easy, my anxiety goes something like this,

He’s upset and making a scene. Oh my god, is he going to be made fun of? Will he fit in? Other parents think I’m a terrible mother! I’m failing as a mom!

Fortunately I got my head out of my ass and was able to hear what he was actually telling me during his episodes. It won’t be an overnight change but at least we know what we are dealing with which is good,  because this little boy

deserves the best!

How My Husband Got Me to Stop Asking for a Baby

 

Should we? Shouldn’t we? We’re pretty sure, we’re done having babies. Nothing is 100% but at this point we are pretty close. But now that most of the women I know are having babies I started to panic. Are we missing out on something? Is there something magic that happens after baby number two? I mean other than being outnumbered?  I’m pretty sure Zippercow is tired of me asking. To be honest I’m pretty sure we’re done too, I’m just getting swept up in baby hormones. But I feel we are ready for something new…

A dog?

This was purely a suggestion for a few years from now, you know,  when I’m tearful about Littlest Moo going off to school, but something I said recently flipped a switch for the hubs and he’s game on. I’m not sure if it was the argument that boys should have a dog, that it may help Little Moo with his anxiety and give Littlest Moo an active playmate in the back yard or that he too sensed we were ready for something new,  but now he is beyond antsy to get a dog. We are pretty specific in what we want and apparently dogs don’t grow on trees (who knew?) which  means instant gratification is not in the cards.

He’s worse than a kid sometimes, but his excitement is contagious for sure! Who knew that  a Golden Retriever or Golden Mix would be so hard to find? So for now we will prepare for a dog and wait until the right one comes along, I’m sure it will happen sooner than the nine months you wait for a baby!