Oh Yeah, This Is Happening!

Oh Pinterest. How I love thee. You are a terrible time suck that I can’t ever stop referring to, as if you were my best friend. It is sad really, but then…I stumble across something that can truly change our family’s dynamic. And I’m going to do it. I’m going to take The Orange Rhino Challenge

I hate that I yell. It is one of the things I feel the worst about as a parent. Sure there are a lot of things I don’t do right, but yelling is the one thing I feel the worst about, and I see my boys modeling my behavior and it hurts my heart. I don’t want to be remembered as the mom who yelled all the time. I want my boys to know they too can be heard without yelling or being angry.

So…

365 is a little to large a goal for me, for now. Much like I can’t say I will lose 50lbs, I can’t say I’ll go a whole year without yelling. Start small. So I will be starting with one week. Spring break.

Hold me. This. Will. Be. Hard.

I told Little Moo about a no yelling week and he seemed happy about it and laughed when I told him he could say “Orange Rhinoceros”  when I seemed like I might yell, but that I could also say the same thing to him. He laughed and said “and then we’ll both stop!”.

I will need your support oh wonderful readers because this may is going to be a challenge for sure. It may result in a few facebook posts in all caps or even the occasional text or two. You too can say “Orange Rhino” and remind me I’m doing this for my kids, and me too. Or just let me vent. And if you’d like to join me in The Orange Rhino Challenge I will do the same for you.

Wish me luck!

Mommy Shame

There are so many things that bring great joy to us as mothers but with that comes guilt too. That we aren’t enough. Are they watching  too much tv? Are they eating well enough? Do I have them in enough activities? Are they spoiled? Literally the list can go on and on. I have been struggling with my own shame of failing my son. I was so frustrated by his outbursts and behavior that I started to push him away because of my own frustrations of failing to figure him out. Not abuse or even neglect, just distance.

Add that to my list of guilt.

Guilt, there is plenty to go around. However I am going to take credit. I am going to take credit for the fact that while it may have taken me longer than he deserved to see the light I have figured it out and I am taking steps to help. It took one scan of an article for the light bulb to blink on.

Duh, it takes one to know one!

So how does and anxious person parent the anxious. Easy, my anxiety goes something like this,

He’s upset and making a scene. Oh my god, is he going to be made fun of? Will he fit in? Other parents think I’m a terrible mother! I’m failing as a mom!

Fortunately I got my head out of my ass and was able to hear what he was actually telling me during his episodes. It won’t be an overnight change but at least we know what we are dealing with which is good,  because this little boy

deserves the best!